Joshua Pellicer, Das Dao Der Teufelskerle .pdf
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Das Dao Der Teufelskerle™ von Joshua Pellicer
The Tao of Badass
Everything You Have To Know
To Be A Complete Badass With Women
Everything You Have To Know To Be A Complete Badass With Women
Gender Roles..................................... 15
The System....................................... 49
The Approach..................................... 77
Reading Body Language........................ 97
Creating Love................................... 123
The Biggest Mistakes You Make............. 137
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fitness, or completeness of the contents of this Ebook. The
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The author and publisher disclaim any warranties (express
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warranted for content, accuracy or any other implied or
Every guy has the power to be a complete badass with women.
Yes, that includes you.
Whether you’re the powerful CEO of a flourishing Fortune
500 company or a struggling musician and part-time waiter,
you have the power within you to be irresistible to beautiful
women. In fact, there’s only one thing that separates the
Casanovas from the creeps, the Lotharios from the losers,
and the players from the posers: men who are successful with
women have simply learned how to unlock this innate power,
and how to use all its benefits to their greatest advantage.
I know, I know…it sounds too simple, right? And why should
you believe me anyway? What makes me such an expert on
I’ve spent years and years studying psychology, relationships,
and attraction, and have worked as a professional dating
coach, a social dynamics and charisma instructor, and a
body language expert. I trained with Wyatt Woodsmall,
neurolinguistic programming and motivational speaking
expert, and long-time mentor of Anthony Robbins, as well
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as the first generation of Dale Carnegie instructors. I also
founded and hosted the first radio show that was completely
devoted to helping men succeed with women on Maxim
Radio, which appears all over North America on SIRIUS
XM Satellite Radio. I have worked alongside the Anthony
Robbins Company and advised the Board of Advertisers for
Axe Bodyspray. I have trained everyone from athletes, to
celebrities, to marketers, from students in their freshman
year in college to men in their 80s, and I can tell you that
everything you’re about to read in this book works. You will
never learn a more important skill set in your life.
This information will do everything for you. It will accelerate
your business when you learn to understand and influence
social dynamics. It will strengthen your friendships. It will
allow you to create a friendship with anyone you need to
be a friend. You will have control over all of your social
interactions, romantic or otherwise.
As a man who is interested in improving the quality of his
life by picking up this book, you
probably have a goal in mind, an
...you’re going to see improvements in
idea of what you want from your
every area of your life that involves social
you just want to attract beautiful
women. Maybe you want to find
your future wife. Maybe you want
to date around and meet lots of women. Maybe you simply
want to learn how to relate to people more effectively.
Regardless of what your intentions are right now, I can tell
you that as soon as you learn the skills I’m about to teach
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you in this book, you're going to see improvements in every
area of your life that involves social interaction.
Take a moment to think about why you do the things you do.
What is the motivation that drives every action you make?
Why, for example, do you want a good job?
Nine times out of ten, the answer to that question will be
“Because if I get a good job, I can make a lot of money.” But
what if you could make a lot of money being a panhandler on
the street? Do you think you would be just as satisfied doing
that as if you were in a very successful job that paid well and
lead to a long career? There are reports of panhandlers in
Canada that are making over $60,000.00 a year - $400.00 to
$800.00 a day. If you can make that much money panhandling,
why aren’t you doing it? Why isn’t everyone out on the street
asking other people for money?
The reason we’re not all takin’ to the streets Doobie Brothersstyle is that you have no social value when you panhandle.
Having no social value can make it very difficult to have
personal value (aka confidence), and that, in turn, means
that you are not attractive. The whole point of making
money is that it will allow you to provide for a future family,
and that your value is increased when other people need and
depend on you.
That’s it. That’s the point. Don’t get confused as to why
you’re going to college, or went to college, or are working
this job. Everything you do, consciously and subconsciously,
is to achieve the end goal of attracting the woman of your
dreams and, in most cases, starting a family with her. And if
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you don’t know the skills that I’m about to teach you, then it
doesn’t matter how much you study. It doesn’t matter what
you do. It doesn’t matter how much you make. In fact, it
matters very, very little how much you make! Not having the
skill set you’re about to learn means that you’re not going
to be able to live your life with the confidence of knowing
that you're heading in the right direction and knowing that
you’ll be able to get what you want, especially if it involves
I know there are a lot of people out there who just get
“lucky,” but you and I are not interested in them. Why would
you want to be one of those people? Why would you want to
be the kind of man who just has to be in the right place at
the right time in order for something good to happen to him?
I’m not going to teach you how to put yourself into the kind
of situation where you simply stand around and allow things
to happen to you. I’m going to teach you to create those
“Knowledge is power.” I’m sure you had that phrase drilled
into your head when you were a kid. Sure, it sounds nice…
but it’s completely meaningless. Knowledge is not power.
Application is power. You can know anything – everything! –
but if you don’t apply the concept, you will not be any more
Let’s say, for instance, that when you finish reading this book
I give you a treasure map to a million dollars. All you have
to do is follow the map and all the million dollars is going to
do is sit there and wait for you to find it. When I hand you
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the map to the million dollars, are you rich? No, you're not
rich. Do you have a million dollars? No, you don’t! All you
have is knowledge about where the million dollars is. You
have to stand up and motivate yourself to follow the map
and get the money.
This is the key to mastering this
material. Knowledge is just a means
to application – you’re learning this
material so you can apply it. That’s
Humans are intention-fulfilling machines.
it! If, on the other hand, you don't
use the knowledge that you gain,
you’re just taking up space in your
brain. You’d be better off just forgetting it.
You with me so far? Good. Then let’s go back to talking
about goals for minute…
Humans are intention-fulfilling machines. We have the
ability to create an idea of something we want and then
work towards achieving it. Regardless of what else we may
be doing at the time, regardless of what happens that’s
outside of our control, we are always reaching towards the
goals we create for ourselves. Because of this, it’s extremely
important to be aware of what your true intentions and goals
are. Think about it now. Take a moment to figure out what
you want to gain from learning this material. I’ll wait.
Got it? Great. Now make sure that what you’ve come up
with is specific. You don’t need to tell me “I want a blonde
girl who is 5’10” and 130 pounds” – I don’t care about what
you want. I care about why. Why do you want it? Why are
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you taking the time to read this book? You are significantly
more likely to attain your goals if you can concretely explain
to yourself why you want them, not simply what they are.
So tell me why you’re learning. Think about it carefully.
Whatever you hope to gain from this, you will gain at some
point. If you fail to uncover your true intentions and set
appropriate goals accordingly, you will not be happy with
what you attain.
When I initially started learning this, I was very clear about
what I wanted to get out of it: “I want to gain the ability
to attract my wife when I finally meet her.” The last thing
I wanted was to meet the woman of my dreams and stand
there and stare at her not knowing what to say, clueless
about how to attract her, and unsure of how to move forward.
Eliminating that possibility, that was my intention.
Unfortunately, I know a lot of guys who started studying this
without getting their intentions straight first. They studied
and applied their knowledge until they arrived at the point
they thought they wanted to be, only to find that they
weren’t satisfied with it. They had nothing left except to
say that their intention was only to sleep with a bunch of
If that’s your intention, that will happen. But the problem
is that the moment you achieve that goal, you have nowhere
else to go, nothing new to achieve, nothing higher to strive
for. Your success begins to stall and you hit what is known as
“a glass ceiling,” which means that you can see something
desirable (metaphorically on the other side of the ceiling),
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but you can’t figure out how to reach it.
A lot of men I know who are considered experts in this field –
popular authors, well-known dating coaches, famous pickup
artists – aren’t as successful as they’re telling you and they’d
like you to think. It’s because they set out with the wrong
intentions and found themselves victims of the limitations
of the glass ceiling. They started out thinking “I’m going to
learn how to pick up a hot chick,” and now that they have
that ability they’re stuck in meaningless relationships with
different women, pretending to be happy, cheating on the
people they’re seeing. They can’t move their relationships
forward and girls leave them as soon as they see there’s no
substance to them. Instead, they’re forced to constantly
bounce from woman to woman.
I’m sure some of you think that that doesn’t sound like a bad
idea at all, and hey – if that’s what
you want, that’s what you want! I’m
...whatever your true intention is, I
not here to judge or tell you how to
live your life. But make sure that
guarantee you’re going to fulfill it.
really is your true intention, because
whatever your true intention is, I
guarantee you’re going to fulfill it.
I’ve taught thousands of men from all walks of life. I’ve taught
guys who were just out of high school, I’ve taught guys who
were over 70 years old. I’ve taught guys who are married,
guys who are single, guys who are recently divorced, guys
who just came out of a relationship. I’ve taught guys who
are in a relationship how to make their relationship stronger.
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I’ve taught religious guys and guys who have no religion. I’ve
taught every kind of guy you can think of. Through all of it, I
have discovered that there are some concepts that transcend
all barriers, transcend everything that makes you different
from everyone else. These are the concepts that I’m going
to teach you.
Treat this book like a valuable reference (because it is!).
Read through it once and gather as much information as
possible, then keep it handy so you can refer to it any time
you need a question answered or require a little bit of a
refresher on a certain topic. You’ll find the answers to most
situations that you are in, will be in, or have been in, right
here. I’ll go over everything in depth, and in the future there
will be bonus chapters and other material that will allow you
to delve deeper into whatever subject interests you most, or
whatever area you think you need the most help with. If you
learn everything in this book, you will be a complete badass
Hold on – are you still not convinced? Are you still making
the excuse that because you weren’t born with a natural
aptitude for attracting women you won’t ever be good at it?
Let me say a word or two about naturals…
Every man who seems like a natural isn’t really a natural.
Preposterous, right? Wrong. Even the “naturals” had to gain
the skill set from somewhere. No one is born with the ability
to attract women – it’s learned. Now, it may not be learned
by picking up a book and reading it, but that doesn’t mean
the learning process doesn’t happen. The “naturals” acquire
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this invaluable information by mimicking male figures in
their lives – a father, an older brother – and by learning other
do’s and don’ts from important female figures. This is the
only thing that separates you from the seemingly genetically
But keep this in mind: naturals cannot control their
environment. They don’t know why they do things – they only
do things a certain way because it’s how they’ve always done
them. They work at an entirely subconscious level. That's
exactly what being a 'natural' means. It's a subconscious way
of attracting women. If you don't know why it works, it's
because you are not aware of it. Therefore it seems to be
'natural' to you.
Evolutionarily speaking, that is not an adaptive trait. It is
not a quality that will help them survive in the long run.
You, however, are going to learn how to have the same level
of success by acting on a conscious level. You will be able to
control everything you do, and therefore also be in control
of the subsequent outcomes.
This is far more powerful than learning all of this naturally,
because when something doesn’t go the way you plan, you’ll
know how to fix it. A natural in the same situation would be
forced to give up and move on. Think about it this way: most
people get in a car, turn it on, and drive it without actually
understanding how the car works. Only mechanics, the true
experts on the subject, understand how a car functions.
So what happens, if you’re not a mechanic, when your car
breaks down? You have to call someone who knows about
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cars so they can come and fix it for you. But if you are a
mechanic and you find yourself with a busted car, you simply
have to pull over, assess the damage, and fix it. In fact, it
might even run better than when you started out!
Most women may not really be into cars, but learning how
to attract them works in a remarkably similar way. If you
understand how to interact with women, you’ll be able to
“fix your car,” and attract women more successfully than any
of your competitors.
Learn everything you read in this book. Take notes. Test it
out as often as possible. I’ve tested it countless times, and
I’ve had thousands of people who learned from me test the
same ideas. I have worked out every single kink I have ever
found in this system. It works.
So without any further ado, read on and keep an open mind
during the process because everything you learn from now
until you finish is going to change your life. This is everything
you need to know in order to be a complete badass with
One of the most important things you’ll take away from this
book is the ability to understand the differences between
the male and female gender roles. There are very specific
reasons why women are attracted to a certain type of man,
and why you are attracted to a certain type of woman.
For most of history, people were
only allowed to play the gender
role that was associated with
The Darwinian idea of “survival of the
their sex – men had to conform to
the male gender role and women
fittest” is outdated.
had to embody the female gender
role. Failing to do so meant that
you would not survive.
however, attitudes towards gender roles are beginning to
change, and chances of survival are altering with them.
The Darwinian idea of “survival of the fittest” is outdated.
In modern society, weak men who once would have been
removed from the gene pool by natural selection, are able
to survive, procreate, and nurture families of more weak
men. Our society places less value on physical strength, and
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more value on other, more abstract qualities. These are the
qualities that you must learn to display if you want to be a
badass with women.
In order to understand the relationship between attraction
and gender roles, you must remember one thing: men and
women who are playing a specific gender role are always
attracted to someone who is playing the opposite gender
role. So if you, as a man, are playing the male gender role,
you will be attractive to women who are playing the female
gender role. Conversely, if you are a man who is playing
the female gender role (and yes, it is extremely common),
you will attract women who are playing the male gender
role. It doesn’t matter what kind of women your
conscious brain tells you you’re interested in. You will
unconsciously attract women that are playing the opposing
gender role. I will explain why in a minute.
But what do “male gender role” and “female gender
role” really mean? Let’s define the terms so that you can
understand how to play the male gender role properly so
that you naturally attract the kind of woman that you will be
interested in attracting. Without this knowledge, you will
continually attract the kind of woman who will eventually
lose attraction for you, who will lose your interest, or you
will think is of a lower quality than what you deserve. An
understanding of gender roles will open up a massive door
for you, allowing you to meet a lot of women that you never
expected to encounter.
Let’s go into what gender roles aren’t. Traditionally, according
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to the male gender role, a man is meant to be a providerprotector. It is the man’s responsibility to hunt and gather
in order to find food for his family, and it is also his duty
to provide protection for them. The man must be large,
dominant, and powerful in order to achieve this.
Women, according to the conventional idea of the female
gender role, are nurturers. Their most important objective
is to give birth and care for their young until they are old
enough to survive on their own.
Even though those are very simple descriptions of very
complex topics, you can already see that ideas about the
gender binary have changed a great deal. How many women
do you see that are attractive that have no sign of wanting to
have kids at the moment? Probably several! And how many
guys do you know that are skinny, even frail looking, and yet
are still successful with women?
Think of the “reckless rockstar” archetype. Those kind of men
are often physically unappealing, are unreliable partners,
and are unlikely to provide and protect adequately, but are
still considered attractive by millions of women. Why? What
allows that attraction to happen? What has changed that
makes it acceptable when it once would not have been?
This answer is society. Society, and the rules imposed by
it, has altered the ideas about what it really means to be a
provider-protector and what it really means to be a nurturer.
Now, in order to fulfill the male gender role, a man must be
a social provider and a social protector. It has nothing to do
with hunting for food and defending your family from attack.
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A man doesn’t even need money to be an effective social
Being a social provider means that other people need you
or like you to such a high degree that they want to give you
things that help you survive. This is much more powerful
than having a lot of money.
Consider this question: Why are women attracted to wealthy
men? It’s a common question with a very important answer.
Make sure you really think it through, because there’s only
one correct response.
What does it mean to be wealthy? Well, on the surface,
being wealthy simply means you have a lot of
money. But how do you earn a lot of money?
Unless you’re following that treasure map we
Consider this question:
talked about earlier, you earn a lot of money
Why are women attracted to
by occupying a powerful position. If you have a
powerful position, you are probably the director
of some kind of group, trend, or organization.
Being a director means being a leader, and being
a leader means having followers. If people are
following you, they get some kind of value from being around
you. Simply by being with you, they become more valuable
and, consequently, happier.
So when a woman sees a man who has a lot of money, she
automatically assumes that he has the money because he
gives value to a lot of other people, and would give value to
her if they were dating. The characteristic that allows him
to earn the money is more important than the money is.
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Unfortunately, though, that’s not an entirely safe assumption
anymore. With the invention of the Internet came the ability
to make money online without interacting with even one
person. Money, therefore, is no longer an accurate indicator
that a man is a good social provider. Women are learning
to abandon the superficial idea that they are interested in
men with money, and are coming to understand that the
money was merely an indication of a core quality they found
attractive. Women can now actively seek out men who give
other people value, who make other people feel happier and
In that sense, women are phenomenal talent scouts! Shortly
after meeting a man, a woman can recognize if he possesses
this quality – or even just the potential to possess it. He
doesn’t even have to fulfill that potential, because she
already understands that he has the ability to increase the
value of those around him, the one quality that every wealthy
person has. Again, the personality trait that leads to wealth
is more important to a woman than wealth itself.
Now that you understand how the male gender role has
evolved, let’s talk about the female gender role. Women no
longer have to function solely as nurturers because there are
nannies and other people who are able to do the nurturing
instead. Men now find women attractive when they fulfill the
role of empathizer – a person who feels what other people
The crucial thing to remember is that if you perform your
gender role, you will attract a woman who wants to perform
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her gender role. In this situation, you are likely to have a
successful relationship because you balance each other out.
If you don’t play your gender role, or don’t allow a woman
to play hers, role reversal will occur and the relationship will
fail. I’ll tell you more about role reversal shortly, but first
I want to talk about the dichotomy that exists within every
There are two basic parts to your personality: the little boy,
and the man. It’s natural for the
little boy to want to live his life
based on his feelings. However,
You’re allowed to feel, but you can’t
as we just discussed, being openly
emotional falls within the realm of
allow those feelings to influence your
the female gender role. So does
decision-making process when you’re in a
that mean that, as a man who is
committed to playing the male
gender role, you’re never allowed
Not exactly. What it really means is that you’re not allowed
to make emotionally-based decisions. If you start making
emotionally-based decisions, the women you’re with will
feel that they can’t make emotionally-based decisions. Two
emotional people do not make a healthy relationship! To
compensate, the women will begin to replace their feelings
with logic, and will start to lead the relationship. Role reversal
will occur: you will be forced into the female gender role,
and she will be forced into the male gender role. Neither of
you will be happy with the dynamic in the relationship, and
you will blame each other for your unhappiness.
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To avoid this situation, make sure that the little boy aspect
of you can never make decisions without first getting the
approval of the man aspect of you. You’re allowed to feel,
but you can’t allow those feelings to influence your decisionmaking process when you’re in a relationship. Be logical about
making decisions that will make your relationship better in
the future, and let the women you are with focus on making
themselves happy and using their abilities as empathizers to
solicit emotions out of you and to make you happy.
At this point, you’re probably wondering how to very clearly
play the male gender role so that you avoid all the problems
I’ve outlined here. It’s vital that you are aware of the image
you are projecting at all times.
Let’s say that you’re walking in a public park with the goal
of meeting as many random people as possible. Whatever
default mode you’re in is the mode in which you are going to
attract women. So if your default mode is to play the female
gender role, women who also want to play that role will not
be attracted to you. In fact, you’ll start to attract women
who play the male gender role by default and, typically, they
will not be attractive to you. This is why you have to be
conscious of always demonstrating the male gender role.
To recap: if you lose control of your emotions and fail to
play the male gender role, women will not feel safe to lose
control of their emotions around you, though it is their
right to play the female gender role and empathize or feel
without inhibition. A woman playing the female gender role
will like to be with men who make her feel feminine, who
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make her feel like a woman , and if she finds it necessary
to abandon her feelings, rely only on logic, and lead the
relationship, she will lose her feelings of femininity. She will
end the relationship, or become angry and blame you for her
unhappiness. And you actually will be to blame, because it’s
your job as a man to make sure that you are always playing
the male gender role so that she can feel comfortable playing
the female gender role.
It’s also the man’s job to reward women for playing the
female gender role. Anytime a woman wants to feel small,
dainty, fragile, weak, protected, or any other quality that is
important to the female gender role, you must accept it and
support her. Allowing her to fulfill her role will in turn make
you fulfill your role better. You will be more attractive to
her, and your relationship will be stronger.
Don’t forget – you’re still only in
the first chapter of this book. At
Anytime a woman wants to feel small,
this stage in the game, you don’t
need to worry about trying to
dainty, fragile, weak, protected, or any
feel what she feels. You’re not
other quality that is important to the
trying to form a deep emotional
connection with her yet. That’s
female gender role, you must accept it ...
a more advanced skill that we’ll
talk about later. For now, think
of love as being a bit like doing
a magic trick. You are the magician. It’s your job to make
a quarter disappear over and over again, and it’s her job to
appreciate it and feel amazed because she can’t figure out/
doesn’t want to figure out how you did it.
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You can also think of the female gender role as being like
“chasing a butterfly....” Let me explain...
Picture this: You’re in a field that’s full of butterflies, and
all of the women who are openly emotional and playing the
female gender role are chasing them. Their sole job is to run
after the butterflies and enjoy how beautiful they are. But
if they’re only focused on the butterflies, they won’t be able
to pay attention to where they’re going. They might trip on
a rock, or step in a hole or chase it off a cliff. That means
it’s your job to move everything out of the way – to get rid
of the rocks and plug up the holes – so that they feel safe
pursuing the butterflies.
A woman can feel openly until she reaches the point that
doing so will have a negative effect on her. If what she's
feeling is going to harm her, you, or the relationship, then
you have to stop her. But don’t interfere until then. One of
the major misconceptions that men have is that women and
men speak the same language. I hate to break it to you, but
women are not speaking the same language as you. Women
are speaking from the point of view of someone who is playing
the female gender role. Things that they say don’t have to
make complete sense to you, and you don’t always need to
agree with them. All you need to do is understand that a
woman is speaking a different language because she wants
a different outcome for herself than you want for yourself.
There are things that you do that make you feel more like a
man that aren’t going to make her feel better as a woman,
and there are things that she does that make her feel good
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as a woman that aren’t necessarily going to make you feel
good as a man. Lots of women like watching soap operas
or going on shopping sprees, but there’s a good chance you
don’t enjoy doing the same things, and there’s no reason you
have to. The truth is that pretending to like all the same
things that women do is a weak and manipulative way of
trying to get into a woman’s heart.
Instead, you have to embrace your manhood, embrace
the new definition of the male gender role, and refuse to
budge on it even when tested. And believe me, a woman
will constantly be testing you to see if you’re truly able to
play the role well. If you pass the test, she’ll feel safer
being a woman. But if you fail it, you’ll find yourself in the
downward spiral of gender role reversal.
Here’s how you know you’re being tested: The woman will
begin to take control of things, to coordinate activities and
lead the relationship, and will slowly take over all the duties
that would normally be yours. Why will she do this? Because
she needs to know that you will play the male gender
role even if she tries to do it. If both of you try to think
logically and lead, your relationship will fail. Likewise, the
relationship will also be unsuccessful if both partners try to
fill the typical female role of empathizer.
If you do not pass the test, she will continue to play the
male gender role and eventually you will naturally start to
play the female gender role. You will surrender all the good
power that makes you feel like a man.
G d r
And here’s the crazy part: she doesn’t
want that to happen. It might seem
like a woman would love be the
It might seem like a woman would love
powerful one in her relationships,
be the powerful one in her relationships,
but in reality that’s almost
universally not true. She wants to
but in reality that’s almost universally not
be able to trust the man she’s with
to control the relationship, so that
she can feel safe and secure about
feeling without reserve. If you are
not satisfactorily fulfilling the male gender role, if you back
down every time someone challenges you, she cannot trust
that you will protect her. The insecurity will force her to
assume the male gender role, and, well, you already know
what the consequences of role reversal are.
Your understanding of gender roles will be the deciding factor
in whether or not you are able to naturally attract the kind
of woman you want.
If pop culture teaches us anything, it’s that every woman is
unique, complex, and complicated. How is it possible to create
one system that will give you the power to attract all of them?
Sure, all women are different in some ways, but when it
comes to what women find attractive in a man, they’re a lot
more similar than you might think. Ask as many women as
you want, and the one thing they’ll all agree on is that they
love men with confidence. It’s a MASSIVE misconception that
men are confident because they are attractive – in fact, it’s
the other way around. Men are attractive because they are
But if confidence is the number one quality that women find
attractive in men, why is it that so many guys still don’t
understand what confidence really is? Most people only think
of confidence as a collection of shallow clichés they learned
from their (well-intentioned, but misinformed) mothers: “Be
yourself!” “Don’t be afraid to be who you are!” That advice
was fine when you were a kid (or if you’re like me, even then
I didn’t get it), but at this stage of your life it just doesn’t
cut it. So what is confidence and why do women find it
attractive? And the million dollar question, “How do you get
Remember our conversation about money from the last
chapter? Let me refresh your memory: it’s a commonly held
belief that women are attracted to men with money. The
reason women seem to fall for wealthy men is that humans
work on what is called a “slippery slope mentality,” which
means that our thought processes typically follow an “If this,
then that” pattern. When a woman sees a man with money,
she might automatically think “Hm…this could be the man for
me. I can have whatever I want. I will be treated well.” But
subconsciously, there’s a lot more going on than the simple
“I can get free stuff” thought process. After all, there are
lots of guys out there who would treat her well – a bum could
be the most loving and attentive boyfriend she’s ever had! –
but she’s probably not going to be attracted to them because
there are other factors at play in these situations.
Women understand that having money is indicative of other
desirable qualities that make a man valuable, including
confidence. Think back to what we went over earlier: if you
have money, you probably had to work for it. If you earned
that much money working, you probably hold a powerful
position in which many people depend on you. Women
typically find the idea that a man being capable of performing
under extreme amounts of pressure to be highly attractive.
Women also like men in leadership positions because it
signifies that people follow them, trust them, and place
value on in their opinions and ideas. A man like that is able
to make other people feel valuable simply because they are
with them. Confidence, essentially, is the possession of the
ability to increase the value of others around you. That’s why
guys who don’t have money but do demonstrate this quality
are still able to attract beautiful, self-assured women.
So how do you exude this quality
when you meet a woman? Before we
talk about that, we have to examine
what’s going on in a woman’s head
when she first encounters you and
decides how attractive you are.
How does she evaluate you? How
is she able to read your personality
the way you’re reading this book?
...whatever you’re feeling at any given
moment tends to show automatically in
your body language.
There’s one simple thing that we
can all read naturally on the surface of everyone we meet:
body language. I won’t go into too much detail here because
body language is such an important topic that I’ve dedicated
an entire chapter to it later on, so for now just know that
humans read body language instantly and make countless
assessments based on the information they gather from doing
Why do we put so much faith in the messages of body language?
Isn’t it something that could easily be faked? Actually, it’s
not. Body language lives largely in your subconscious mind,
which means that you’re not really aware of the messages
it’s sending. Your subconscious mind is also home to your
emotions, so whatever you’re feeling at any given moment
tends to show automatically in your body language. Very
few people are able to learn to completely and effectively
control their body language, so it’s almost always an accurate,
trustworthy source of information about someone.
This brings up yet another important question: if body language
is controlled by emotions, what are emotions controlled by?
And if you figure out what is in charge of your emotions,
can you override it and direct them consciously and control
your emotions? Wouldn’t it be great if you had the power
to make sure that you were never nervous, never flustered,
never angry? If you could always be happy, confident, and
in control? Of course it would! And believe it or not, it is
possible. In order to do that, though, you’re going to have to
learn to hack into your brain and make it work for you.
The things that control your
emotions are your beliefs. If you
believe you’re confident, you
will be. If you believe you’re in
control, you are. If you believe
you’re worth something, if you
...women read your body language to assess
what you believe ...
believe you have high-value, others will believe it too. If
you don’t believe you have high value, your body language
will project negative messages instead. And because your
body language is controlled by your emotions and your
emotions are controlled by your beliefs, women read your
body language to assess what you believe, so make sure your
beliefs aren’t limiting your success.
I’m not going to pretend that redefining and reinventing your
belief system is an easy task, because for most people it
isn’t, but it’s one of the most important things you’ll ever
do. In order to be a true badass with women, every man
must get to the point where he can control his emotions to
be positive so his body language naturally falls in line with
Imagine a scenario in which you’re walking down the
street. As a confident man, you recognize that you have
lots of qualities that make you desirable to women. In other
words, you’re hot shit, and you know it. As you’re walking,
you notice a group of four attractive girls who are walking
towards you. The moment you pass them, the girls all stop
talking. You continue without acknowledging them, and as
soon as the girls are just a few steps behind you they break
out into a fit oflaughter. What’s your natural response? If
you believe that you are attractive, your emotions will fall in
line with that belief and you will feel more attractive. You
will think that the girls began laughing because they were
nervous around you and wanted to get your attention.
Because your beliefs lead to positive emotions, your body
language will react accordingly. You will stand up straight,
you’ll smile, you’ll look at the girls and hold strong eye
contact with them. Voila! You are a powerful, confident
man, and you are naturally displaying all of the qualities that
women are attracted to.
The interesting thing is that women don’t necessarily read
your body language and immediately decide whether or
not they’re attracted to you. Don’t get me wrong – it does
happen quickly, but women usually wait to see your reaction
to something before making a true assessment of you. If
they can see you in a situation in which you’re being tested
in some way and they can watch your body language in that
situation, they then know for sure that you’re acting from a
direct link to your emotions, which are direct links to your
beliefs, which show them whether or not you think you're
truly valuable. The four women in the walking-down-thestreet example became attracted to you based on the body
language they read from your reaction to their silence and
laughter, not your initial body language.
Now let’s pretend that the same scenario happened a little
differently. You’re still walking down the street, and you
still pass the same group of girls.
This time, however, instead of
believing that you are attractive,
Now let’s pretend that the same scenario
you think that you are only mildly
successful with women. When the
happened a little differently.
girls start laughing behind you,
what’s your natural response?
Because you don’t believe that
you’re attractive, you’re going feel disappointed and
rejected. You might even get angry, and feel like you’ve
been attacked in some way.
Your body language will instantly reflect all of those negative
feelings. You’ll slouch, you’ll keep your head down, and
you’ll keep your eyes glued to the ground. You’re going to
try to make your body as small as possible so that you can
“disappear” and avoid more psychological attacks.
It's up to you to decide have the powerful and positive belief
system that will make you attractive to women. If you don't
make a committed effort to acquire them, it won't matter
what else you learn. You could read this book a million times
and you'd still have trouble. It's not until you decide to have
confident beliefs about yourself that you will be attractive
to women. Women typically tend to be more perceptive
than men, and better at detecting lies, so they’ll see right
through you if you’re faking it. It is infinitely more effective
to create a new belief system for yourself.
I remember when I first tried out this concept. I was in a
town I used to live in and I was studying psychology. I was
just starting to apply a lot of the psychological concepts I’d
learned to my real life. I would literally take information
straight out of the psychology books I was reading and try
them out after class. One thing I tested was the idea that
our minds create the atmosphere around us, the atmosphere
does not create our minds. What that meant was that I knew
that as long as I could control what I believed, I should be
able to control the atmosphere that surrounded me to some
degree (I didn’t really know to what extent I’d be able to
control it though). If that was true, then I could create
an atmosphere that was aligned
with my positive belief system.
I set out with the goal of pretending that I
So I tested my theory. I set out
with the goal of pretending that I
thought I was very attractive, and seeing
thought I was very attractive, and
what effects the belief had on my life.
seeing what effects the belief had
on my life.
There are a few stages that everyone goes through whenever
you’re attempting to create a new belief system. In the first
stage, you have to convince yourself that the new belief is
true. In the second, you have to proclaim it and convince
others. And then, you have to make the belief so solid that
there’s no doubt in your mind that it’s a fact. Even if you
are presented with contrary evidence later, you must be so
confident in the belief that you don’t abandon it. After all,
why change something that works in your favor?
The actual Stages of Belief Creation are:
Challenge - If you want to change a belief from a negative
one to a positive one, you’ll first have to challenge the
validity of the negative belief. I usually use some sort of
biased deductive reasoning to do this that sounds something
like this, “Well if I’m actually unattractive then that would
mean that NO ONE in the WORLD is attracted to me in even
the slightest bit. Is that true? ... No I guess not. There are
SOME women that are attracted to me, even if I don’t seem
to be attracted to most of them. So then I’m not unattractive
but every girl isn’t throwing themselves at me (yet) either...
So I’m not attractive to everyone. So it’s just as likely that
I’m attractive as it is that I’m unattractive. And if I could
only believe one of those two, which one would it help me
the most to believe? Well if thought I was attractive I’d at
least feel better!”
Accept - Once you’ve challenged your old belief you then
have to accept a new one to go in its place. In this case I’d
choose to believe that I am attractive instead of unattractive
because that will increase my chances of being treated like
I was actually attractive. This is where most people use
a technique called “affirmations,” which are effective at
helping you accept the new belief. They won’t, however
make the belief a reality yet.
Proclaim - After you thoroughly believe your new belief,
you’ll have to see if your actions are projecting the same
belief. So it’s time to proclaim the belief out loud when it
comes up in normal conversation. You have to state it like
it’s just a FACT and it’s not your opinion, though, or you
might get other people’s insecurities involved in your belief
submission process... Which is bad news.
Feedback - After you proclaim your belief you’ll have to
gauge the reactions of other people. Do they look at you
curiously? Do they just go with it completely and act like
they’ve always agreed with that belief? Do they argue with
you without getting angry or emotional? Do they just flat out
disagree with you? If you get too many people disagreeing
with your belief then you’ll know that you either A) Don’t
believe it yourself yet or B) You didn’t narrow down your
belief enough yet and you have to go back and modify it. For
example, if you tried to instill the belief that ALL blondes
want to jump your bones then you’ll probably get some
resistance from the feedback of other people as there will be
several examples of blondes that just won’t be attracted to
you. SO you’ll have to be more honest and specific with your
belief that “Blondes seem to be generally more attracted to
you for some reason,” instead.
Submit - Finally, when you’ve gotten enough sufficient
feedback and enough people agree with your belief, you’ll
finally accept that belief as FACT. From then on you’ll need
a VERY large amount of evidence and convincing otherwise
before you’ll reconsider the validity of that new belief.
So my first test of this system had me convincing myself that
I was very attractive by refusing to focus on anything that
was contrary to that belief system. If I ever encountered
something that was not in line with that belief – if someone
thought that I was unattractive, for example, or if I was
feeling week or undesirable – I had to believe that that
situation was simply an exception to the rule or the truth:
that I was fucking hot!
The next stage was to see if I could convince other people
that I was attractive. One day – I remember this very clearly
– I was chatting with a female friend of mine (not a girl I was
dating – I had a lot of trouble getting out of the friend zone
back then), and for some reason something I said came across
as slightly arrogant. I had never acted that way before and
so the girl stopped and said “You know, you think you’re hot
shit, don’t you?” I paused for a second, and then said “Yeah,
And she laughed! She laughed in my face for a good two
or three minutes. So I just stood there and let her make a
big deal out of it. I held my ground, because I figured that
the worst thing that could possibly happen afterwards was
her still thinking that I was unattractive, and that wasn’t
much of a loss. And damn... It felt like she was laughing for
20 minutes.. Haha. I guess that was a high pressure moment
for me because I remember every second of it. It was a bit
But for the first time in my life, something strange happened.
Though I thought she was going to laugh at me some more
and maybe say “Don’t kid yourself. You’re not that good
looking,” she actually paused after a while and then said
“You know, you’re right though, you are hot.” And that was
a major turning point in my life. When I realized I could
hack into my brain, hack into my belief systems, that’s when
I really began to study everything that I’m teaching you now.
In fact, being aware that you can control your value just by
believing that you are attractive is such a powerful concept
that this alone will give you massive amounts of success very
quickly. Though it’s not sustainable all by itself, it's still like
turbo charging your badass skills with women.
Ultimately, a woman is looking for a man who is more valuable
today than he was yesterday, and who will be more valuable
tomorrow than he is today. Again, don't think about money.
Focus on the feeling that you are worth more/deserve more.
A man who is successful with women has a high perceived selfworth. The guys who feel that they're improving everyday
are the truly attractive men of the
world. That’s a very, very powerful
belief system to create.
...if you want to be attractive to women, I
suggest that you create the belief system
that, everyday, you are more attractive than
the day before.
So if you want to be attractive to
women, I suggest that you create
the belief system that, everyday,
you are more attractive than the
day before. If anyone ever leaves
you or doesn’t find you attractive on
a particular day, then your chances
will be better the next day. It’s their loss because you’re
going to keep improving, and the next time they see you,
you’ll be a more attractive man.
This also plays into the idea that you are taking steps everyday
towards becoming exactly who you want to be as a man.
And if you don’t feel like that is the case, it’s most likely
because you haven't really thought about who you want to
be as a man! Just keep in mind that insecurities are only
unattractive when you hide them or you ignore them. You’re
going to have to get over them eventually because that’s
part of what becoming more valuable means, but they’re
only unattractive insecurities if you try to conceal them or
pretend that they don’t exist. If you face them, and are
constantly trying to correct and overcome them, you will
be exhibiting another quality that is attractive in a man.
Embrace your insecurities, but make sure you’re always
working towards having fewer insecurities tomorrow than
you have today.
Creating a new belief system to rid yourself of insecurities and
become more confident in areas in which you feel inferior is
key to becoming a complete badass with women, but it’s only
a piece of the puzzle. You also must learn how to read the
value of other people. There’s a relatively simple method to
understanding what level of value everyone around you has,
and I’m going to teach it to you now.
The best way to read value is to look for specific types of
actions, and to examine the intentions behind the actions.
There are four core types of values, which we distinguish by
numbers: Six, Seven, Eight, and Nine/Ten (Nine and Ten are
A Six on the value scale is someone who has what’s called
supplicative value. To supplicate literally means to beg, so
a person with supplicative value is someone who begs for
acceptance. These people feel as though they have nothing
to offer, so they constantly try to acquire value from other
How do you spot a Six? A Six is someone who has supplicative
dynamics, someone who is constantly buying people things
in order to gain their attention. These are the guys that buy
random women drinks at bars, not women with whom they
have rapport or care about. Buying a woman that you don’t
know a drink is one of the biggest mistakes that you will
ever make. If you already have some kind of friendship with
a woman, there’s no problem with
...buying a girl a drink just to get her
treating her to a drink or two, but
buying a girl a drink just to get her
attention subconsciously says ‘I’m not
attention subconsciously says “I’m
important enough or attractive enough for
not important enough or attractive
enough for you to hang out with,
you to hang out with, so I’m going to give
so I’m going to give you this drink
you this drink in hopes that it will bribe
in hopes that it will bribe you to
stay here and hang out with me
you to stay here and hang out
because you’ll feel guilty leaving.”
Why would any guy want to be with
with me because you’ll feel
a girl who’s hanging out with him
because she feels like she owes him?
Spending time with someone should
be enjoyable, not an obligation! This is a truly terrible
way to begin an interaction – the man will appear to lack
any semblance of confidence, and attraction will be killed
immediately. No woman wants a man who is needy and
allows his life to be controlled by his fears.
A Seven exhibits what is called combative dynamics. Those
who display combative dynamics don’t feel as valuable as
other people in the room and choose to try to decrease the
value of everyone else rather than raise their own value.
Sevens are insulting, aggressive, and loud. They are typically
some of the most frustrating people to deal with in social
situations because they tend to be difficult to control.
Next on the value scale, naturally, are the Eights. Level
Eights have competitive dynamics, which means that they
only feel valuable if they are able to beat everyone else in
the room at the value game. If someone else has more value
than an Eight, the Eight will challenge them to some sort of
contest in order to prove his superiority. This often takes
the form of verbal attacks.
We’ve arrived at the final category. The Nines and Tens have
what is referred to as cooperative dynamics – they gain value
by making other people feel happier and more valuable. This
kind of person is satisfied only when he is able to improve
the lives of others around him. It’s easy to spot Nines and
Tens because they are constantly making people feel good,
always have nice things to say about people, and focus on
bringing out the positive aspects of others. This is a quality
that women find completely, irresistibly attractive in men.
I know what you’re thinking: Why is a Nine and Ten the
same, when a Six, Seven and Eight are all separate? The
essential difference lies in the way we see ourselves. If you
consider yourself a Nine, you recognize that you have room
for improvement. If you consider yourself a Ten, however,
then you prevent yourself from growing and improving. If
you stop growing, you in turn become less attractive. You can
consider the people around you to be Tens, but it’s important
that you are always striving to improve your value.
Now that you understand what these different kinds of
people do, it’s important to understand why they do them.
What makes a Six, a Six? Why do Eights act the way they do?
There’s something that everyone goes through called polar
opposing insecurity compensation. Polar opposing insecurity
compensation, or POIC, occurs whenever a person focuses
on something that he doesn't want to be because being that
way or having that quality makes him insecure. In order
to make himself feel like he’s gotten over that insecurity,
he becomes the exact opposite of that thing. So if you are
insecure about being too quiet, for example, you would
become extremely loud and arrogant because at the end
of the day, you’d be able to look at yourself in the mirror
and say “No one could accuse me of
being too quiet today because I was
So if you are insecure about being too quiet,
so loud and so arrogant that they
for example, you would become extremely
would never have reason to.”
Because this kind of compensation
loud and arrogant...
is always born out of a desire not
to be something – to not be shy, not
be easily aggravated, not be weak, not be unattractive – a
person experiencing it will simply switch from one extreme
to another, rather than finding a healthy balance between
them. Instead of fixing the problem, this kind of manic
personality change indicates that you are unable to face your
own insecurities. In fact, it highlights them! If you focus
only on what you don’t want to be, you cannot be confident
and attractive. Polar opposing insecurity compensation will
destroy your value while forcing you to make decisions based
on fear and the perceived need to conform to a limiting
personality type. In order to become truly confident, it’s
necessary to uncover what your insecurities are and overcome
them without going to the extreme in either direction.
So how do you handle people who have different value levels?
How do you talk to a Six, Seven, Eight, or Nine/Ten? The first
step is obvious: you must assess a person’s actions in order
to determine what his or her dynamic is. Once you are able
to label the person as a Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, or Ten, you
must ask yourself what their motivation for acting in that
manner is. What do they want? Ultimately, once you figure
it out, you’re going to give them that thing so that you give
Let’s say you conclude that you’re dealing with a Six. A Six
typically wants to be accepted, so what do you do? Simple
– you take them as they are, and give them the acceptance
they so desperately desire. This can be as easy as saying
“You know what? I like you. You’re a cool guy.”
Sevens, unfortunately, are usually much more difficult
to manage than Sixes. Sevens need to feel respected for
being strong. They want to feel like they’ve accomplished
something by not being a Six, because every Seven was a Six
at some point! Neil Strauss and Owen Cook (Tyler Durden)
would call these guys “AMOGs.” People become combative
because they were once supplicative. Being combative
is a way for them to remind themselves that they are no
longer the weak, low-value people they used to be. POIC,
Be careful not to take away a Seven’s new-found value by
beating him down (verbally or otherwise). Focus on showing
him respect, no matter how difficult it might be. Sevens
can be frustrating to interact with, so it’s essential that you
understand that they are likely not acting out because it’s
who they are. They’re doing it because they want to feel
respected for being powerful. Sevens are also frequently
insecure and frightened because they think they’ve reached
the limit of their value. They fear that they can't become
any more valuable and because of that, they have to bring
everyone else down in order to make themselves feel superior.
A common method I use to make a Seven feel respected is to
comment on how outspoken he is. It’s simple, but effective.
Next time you encounter a Seven, just say “You know, a lot
of people don’t speak their mind and I really respect that
you speak your mind as much as you do. I respect that.” A
Seven is one of the hardest dynamics to deal with, but you’ll
almost always find that when you accept a Seven and show
him a little respect, he’ll turn into a completely different
type of person around you. In fact, if he feels accepted
by you and considers you to be of high value (that is, if he
thinks you are a Nine or a Ten and therefore have cooperative
dynamics), he will automatically feel like you are helping
him to be a Ten. To show his appreciation, he will totally
alter his attitude and will start to help you out.
That brings us to the Eights. Someone
You know, a lot of people don’t
with competitive dynamics wants to win in
some way. They want to feel like they’ve
speak their mind and I really respect
beaten out everyone else. It’s a very
that you speak your mind as much
natural progression from being a Seven:
if you are combative and you run into a
as you do. It’s really refreshing.
lot of other guys who are combative, you
will eventually feel like you have to be
the most combative and will end up being competitive. The
appropriate way to cope with an Eight is exactly the same
as the way in which you cope with Sixes and Sevens – give
them what they want. But how do you make someone feel
like they have won without looking like you have lost? You
do want the Eight to feel valuable, but you don’t want to
become supplicative or combative by doing so.
To appease an Eight, you must make him feel that he is already
valuable in your eyes. Give him respect, show admiration
for his strength, and use language that implies that he has
achieved something. If you fail and the Eight feels that he
has lost, he will revert back to being a Seven, and you will
have an even more difficult person on your hands. If, on the
other hand, you are successful, you will create a positive
frame for his interaction with you and he will stop trying to
beat you at everything. If all goes well, he’ll become a Nine
or Ten too.
And finally, you will recognize Nines and Tens because, quite
simply, they will make you feel more valuable when you are
around them. Reciprocate, and they’ll be happy.
In the long run, it is the ability to recognize the different
value levels and calibrate your personality to match each
one that makes you a truly charming person. Once you
understand this, you can control the level of confidence that
you retain while helping others to feel more powerful around
you. When you are able to add value to the lives of other
people, they will begin to follow you and you will become
a leader. Becoming a leader can have benefits
such as promotions at work, which in turn lead
to earning more money. I was surprised to find out
that a good percentage (about 30%) of the guys that I
have taught in person have gotten promotions and raises
directly after returning from my course. Not only will you
become a badass with women – you’ll be a complete badass
professionally and in most social areas of your life.
END OF "TRIAL VERSION"
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