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Hard To Get, The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart eBook .pdf



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Hard To Get
By Mimi Tanner

Your Personal Guidebook
on How to Play the Game
of Love
www.hardtoget.com

Hard To Get
By Mimi Tanner
Your Personal Guidebook on How to
Play the Game of Love
Be slow to get to know a man,
Slow to commit,
And slow to fall in love.
-- Mimi Tanner

Hard to Get is Human Nature 101
Being hard to get is a response to one of the most basic truths of human nature:
humans love a feeling of accomplishment. We love to work for something
valuable and finally obtain it.
We tend to scorn what is handed to us too easily. We rarely appreciate things
which come too easily. We value the things which are elusive – harder to reach,
harder to find, harder to get.
As humans, we are created to thrive on desire. Here’s a newsflash: You can’t
desire something you already have!

2

As with many other realities of life, many people are unhappy about this truth of
human nature and waste precious energy fighting against it. They regard it with
suspicion and even hostility – even though the truth of it stares them in the face
every day.
They may as well be fighting against the sun rising and setting, because their
discomfort is not going to change the facts of life! There’s just no denying it –
being hard to get is a fundamental principle of human nature and particularly,
romance. It can even be the make or break factor.
Lots of books and articles say that they disagree with being hard to get and
“playing games,” but then they proceed to tell people to do the exact same things
that you do when you’re “hard to get”!
By the way, when did “games” get such a bad name? So games are okay when
it’s checkers, but not okay when it comes to romance? Gee, what Sad Sack came
up with that rule? The kind of “games” we’re talking about will keep you
healthy, happy, and having the time of your life – and so will he.
This theme of human nature has been well known throughout the ages of time.
When you can’t get something easily – people want it more. Not only that, but the
price tag goes up too. (Check your local market.)
Hard to Get is a time-honored principle for a reason – it has helped hundreds of
thousands of women to learn the meaning of valuing themselves and using selfrestraint and self-discipline when some of their strongest urges could have
resulted in actions that would have NOT worked in their best interests in the long
run.
More on “games” as we continue this program. But make no mistake about it.
Love is a game – the most wonderful “game” ever invented. Play to win. Play
hard…. to get!

3

Lucinda: “Whatever you work for has more value than
what you get for free”
Hi Mimi,
I suppose the whole thing boils down to a very old principle: whatever you work
for has more value (in your mind) than what you get for free.
If you have to court a woman for three months, when you finally sleep with her, it
means much more to you than if you slept with her the first night (independently
of the objective “quality” of the sex). Something difficult is more meaningful than
something easy.
Applied to romance, when the high-maintenance woman makes the man jump
through hoops, he’s associating her with something valuable, because he has to
work so hard for her. Whereas as the non-demanding, “together,” lowmaintenance woman: well, yeah, she’s attractive, but... so what? Why bother?
Hope I’m not overstating my case. ;-)
Best,
Lucinda

Hard to Get is Controversial
Some women say, “With a really great man, I shouldn’t need to play games.”
We say, “Great men love a challenge. When they’re married to you, they’ll
cherish you all the more because you were hard to get.”
Some women say, “I don’t have the energy to act like that.”
We say, “Most worthwhile things take energy and effort. The results are worth
it.”
Some MEN say, “I don’t want a woman who plays games.”

4

We say, “Yeah, right. What men think they want and what they really want are
usually two different things!
We’ll be talking about THAT at length in the next class!
Some women say, “I just don’t like the whole idea of playing hard to get.”
We say, “Consider the alternative. It’s not a pretty picture. Not being hard to get
means that you get to Emotional First Base long before he does. When he realizes
that you are there before him – he will start backing away from you. This causes
a lot of broken hearts.”
Hard To Get means you are in control – and you’re a lot more likely to get the
man you want and to have a better relationship with him in the long run.

“How true – how true! When I'm being mysterious and not pouring out my
emotional needs, I have total control. I hate to say it, but the more I'm
mysterious, the more he wants to be with me.” -- Lisa

Yes, the Hard-To-Get Mindset Gives You An Edge!
The sad truth is that because of a lot of women’s preconceived ideas about what
being Hard To Get means, they may fail to appreciate the fact that it empowers
women.
These same women get very angry at a woman who does employ these strategies
because they then claim that it’s so unfair that you have an edge!
You do have an edge. But you’re doing nothing more than what women have
been doing for centuries, whether it was intentional or not. It’s simply what
works, what protects your heart, and what ignites the fireworks of romance in a
way that imprints YOU on his heart forever.
You are being yourself – but it’s the self that is not desperate to win any man. It’s
the self that knows she is wonderful and worth being pursued and courted by the
man of her dreams. With that mindset, you’re already a winner.

5

It’s Okay to Make Conscious Decisions about Your Love
Life!
Women often call it “playing games” only because they are making conscious
decisions about what to do in relationship situations instead of just “going with
the flow” of their feelings.
However, when you drive a car, do you follow conscious guidelines every minute,
or do you just drive any way you feel like at the moment? Do you drive on the
sidewalk and run stop signs, or do you follow guidelines that make things go well
for everyone?
Being intelligent means that we think about what we are doing in every aspect of
our lives, and relationships are no different. Many want to think that relationships
are the one area of life where you can just sit back and relax and the great things
will happen because that’s how love is supposed to be.
-- Mimi Tanner, Calling Men – the Complete Guide to Calling, Emailing, and
Texting the Men You Date

Love Should Be Playful
Love should be playful. To be playful is to enhance the experience of love for
both of you. We all want love to be exciting – but how many people actually
experience excitement when it comes to love? Certainly not enough!
Somehow we think that being “open” and “able to relax” with the person we love
means that we can start getting heavy duty. We can now finally spill our guts
about anything and everything, and he is supposed to be okay with it because he
loves us so much. In fact some women seem to press the issue just so they can
prove to themselves that a man really loves them. They put the poor guy through
the mill until he’s ready to bolt for the door!
What most women don’t know is this:
Men value different things in women – than women value in men.
The sooner a woman realizes that a man’s emotional needs are different than hers,
the sooner she’ll start having successful relationships.
6

Men are attracted to different traits in a woman than a woman is attracted to in a
man. One of the main things men value in women – as difficult as it is to talk
about – is looks. We will be devoting a long discussion to this in an upcoming
class.
Men also love games. We all know that men love such things as sports, golf,
cards, and so on. Men stay more connected to the kid in them than women tend to.
Men also are voracious enthusiasts about the game of love. You want to see a
motivated man? Find one who is pursuing a woman. This is one reason why it
works so well when you start having fun enjoying the journey instead of worrying
so much about the destination.

He can’t pursue you if you’re already his!
Men also prefer not to be pinned down for a tough discussion that they’re not
ready to have. As author Bob Grant says in The Woman Men Adore, “Men
respond to distance, not words.” www.thewomanmenadore.com
So when you start a making love into a fun chase, you’re so far ahead of the game
that you will literally leave any “competition” in the dust. (Think you’re not
competitive? Well, think again; you’re probably a lot more competitive than you
may realize. We all are. It’s human nature!)

When Should You Be Hard To Get?
 As soon as you meet a new man you’re interested in
 When you have not yet gotten his attention
 When he’s ignoring you
 When your romance started out strong but then changed and you don’t know
why
 When your relationship is stagnating
 When you have been together for many years but the relationship is not moving
toward a commitment

7

 When you’re flirting, dating, engaged, or married!

Being Hard to Get Works Even When You’re Not Trying
The law of gravity works whether we are aware of it or not. It works whether
we’re thinking about it or not. It just works. It’s the same with being Hard to
Get. Like any law of human nature, it works. It doesn’t matter if you are aware
of WHY it works – it just works.
Many women are hard to get because they either are not looking or are not
interested at that time. Whether they are hard to get intentionally or not doesn’t
matter – because it still intensifies your relationship either way.
Here is a story that illustrates so many reasons why Hard To Get matters so much
in having the love story of your dreams. And in this case, it was completely
accidental – as often happens when a woman is just not looking for a relationship.

“He tells me all the time he was NOT going to let me get
away.”
Mimi,
My personal love story is right out of a novel, and I thought you might be
interested in it. Here it goes....
I got pregnant at the young age of 16 by a guy that I thought was
wonderful. We ended up getting married and I had my beautiful daughter
when I was only 17.
Well, after my daughter turned 3 months old, this “wonderful” guy I had
married decided that he wasn’t ready to be a father, so needless to say he
left... and left me with nothing.
I got a job at a fast food restaurant to try and make ends meet. At this time
I was NOT looking for a man. I was more concerned about my child’s
well being.
Well, I guess that God knew who was the perfect man for me, because
after about a year of working in that restaurant, a man named David came
through the drive-thru. Of course I just thought he was another one of
those “men.” I wouldn’t talk to him or go out on a date, even though he
asked and asked....

8

So David decided to get a part time job in the restaurant – then I would
have to talk to him. Well, I finally decided to go out on a date with him on
December 3, 1999. The rest is history! He asked me to marry him on
February 6, 2000, and we got married on December 3, 2000, exactly one
year from our first date.
We have just celebrated our 6th anniversary. He has adopted my daughter
and loves her so much. David was not rich when I met him, but he has a
heart of gold. I sometimes can’t believe that he was basically placed in
my lap.
My husband KNEW that I was the one for him from the first day he met
me. He tells me all the time he was NOT going to let me get away. I hope
this gives hope to women out there who think that there is no one for
them. It will just happen when you aren’t looking for it.
Sincerely, Drea

Drea’s love story is wonderful exactly because of the intensity that was created by
her lack of interest in David. This only made him want and appreciate her more.
This tells us a lot about David, too. Drea’s indifference only brought out the best
in David. It provided them with memories that will last a lifetime. It’s the kind of
story that they will be telling their children and grandchildren.
The story would be completely different if Drea had been interested in David
from the beginning – or if Drea had acted desperate.
Of all the situations in which a woman might have been looking for a man to
“save” her – being alone at 18 with a baby to support – Drea was an independent
woman who was taking responsibility for herself and her child. She wasn’t
looking for a man to sweep her off her feet.

9

Thank you for reading this excerpt from “Hard to Get”!

Get “Hard to Get” and Find Out More!
 How to make a permanent emotional imprint on your man
 How to create romantic and sexual tension
 Secret psychological strategies that deeply affect your man in your favor
 How to get rid of the other woman he left you for (piece of cake)
 And oh, so much more!!
Find out more about “Hard to Get” at this website – and I will talk to you in my
daily email column “With Love, Mimi Tanner”

www.hardtoget.com

10

“What To Do If He Stops Calling –
and What Not To Do!”
Compliments of

Calling Men
Know When and How To Call the
Man In Your Life

The Complete Guide to Calling and Emailing Men
By Mimi Tanner

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

“What To Do If He Stops Calling –
and What Not To Do!”
Compliments of

Calling Men
By Mimi Tanner

Calling Men
Copyright © 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009
All Rights Reserved

This book is protected by U.S. Copyright Law and the Digital Millennium
Copyright Act. No portion of this book may be copied, distributed, sold,
published, or shared without the express written permission of the author.

2

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

What To Do If He Stops Calling –
and What Not To Do!
By Mimi Tanner
You can certainly judge a relationship by the frequency of phone calls!
When you’re seeing him as much as you want to; when he’s regularly initiating
contact; when you feel cherished and appreciated, then you know things are going
well.
If the calls become much less frequent – or worse, if the calls completely stop –
then you have an entirely different situation on your hands.
Something is definitely wrong. Your man is either losing interest in you, or
gaining interest in someone else, or both.
When your man stops calling you and emailing you as he was before, it’s a bad
feeling. It’s also a reality that must be faced and diagnosed accurately, if you want
the best chance for restoring the closeness you had with the man you have been
dating.

3

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

But women often do not want to see their man’s behavior for what it is.

Women Go Into Denial When Their Man Stops Calling
It’s very hard to accept the plain and unpleasant fact that this change in your
man’s calling behavior almost always means he is losing interest in the
relationship.
When this happens, women so often say things like, “Things were wonderful
between us. Then he stopped calling. What does this mean?”
What does it mean? You won’t have to call in the FBI to figure it out.
You’ll save yourself precious weeks, months, and years of putting your life on
hold if you learn to interpret a man’s not calling you (or calling you less) to mean
exactly what it does mean: he is moving away from your relationship.
Better to face the facts early and plainly, so you can respond in the way that
gives you the best chance to keep your relationship with him – if staying with
him is what you want.
Otherwise you’ll find yourself calling him to ask him the same question, “What
does this mean?” Trust me; that will not improve matters! That’s not how to
handle this situation.
No relationship stands still. It’s either getting closer or getting farther apart.
Your actions will affect the relationship even now, when his interest seems to be
waning.

4

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

Judge His Feelings By His Actions – Whether He Admits
That He’s Losing Interest, or Not!
Your man may not be sure of his feelings just yet. He doesn’t want to hurt your
feelings or get into a heavy discussion, either. He may also want to hang on to you
to at least some extent. But if you’re smart, you’ll base your opinions entirely on
your man’s actions – nothing more and nothing less.
If you don’t, you’ll spend valuable time waiting and waiting with false hope.
You could also change the situation from one where your man was considering
backing away from you to a breakup that is now written in stone – if you make
the wrong moves now.

You Cannot Force a Relationship By Calling Him
One reason that women want to call men – and are sorely tempted to call their
man when they are not hearing from him – is because women think that by
calling him, it will maintain their connection with him. It will keep their
relationship going. It will make their relationship happen. No calls, no contact =
no relationship.
But the problem is that you cannot force a connection and a relationship by
making that call, as painful as that can be. Calling him will not make it happen;
nor will writing letters or sending emails.
The same goes for sending letters, cards, or emails to your man’s friends or
family. Oh, no, there goes another backdoor attempt to sneak our way into his
heart – make his family adore us! That will not make him adore us. It may make
him want to avoid us even more, since he sees this ploy for what it is.

5

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

“Could There Be Another Explanation For His Not Calling
Me?”
Dear Mimi,
Could it be that the guy might be interested in a woman, but is thinking it
through when he doesn’t reply to her emails or calls? Should it always
mean he isn’t interested? --A.
No, that is just plain old wishful thinking. It’s an example of the denial women
go through when a special man in their lives stops calling them.
When it comes to women, men don’t sit around and ponder. They act!
Women sometimes try to interpret an apparent lack of interest as something
more positive – in other words, they make excuses for a man’s lack of calls.
Women who talk themselves into believing that a man is just “thinking things
over” are living in a dream world. What’s worse, they waste valuable time
waiting for the man who is not calling them.

What NOT To Do When Your Man Doesn’t Call
When your man calls you less, do not respond by calling him more. That’s the
exact opposite of what you should do. Instead, follow his lead. Let your own
actions be subtly guided by his actions. Adopt a “no-questions-asked” policy.


Do not ask him why he has not called you.



Do not ask him why he’s calling you less.



Do not ask him if things have changed. Obviously things have changed.



Do not ask him if something is wrong.

6

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

If you are already in the habit of not calling him, but instead you let him call
you, this will come very naturally to you. The more of a habit this is, the easier
this becomes.
Don’t allow your emotions to guide your actions at the time when you feel a
precious relationship slipping away. This is the most important time to stay in
control of your own responses.

How To “Test” Your Man’s Interest In You
Don’t jump to conclusions every time it takes your man a while to call you.
Just because your man is slower to call than you would like him to be, this does
not mean that he is losing interest in you. It’s normal to want the relationship to
move faster than a man may be ready for. This is why it’s so important to enjoy
the moment with your man rather than worry about the future, especially in the
early stages of dating.
First, determine if your man is really backing off. If you are not sure, you can
“test” your man by contacting him less than you normally would, or by being a
little harder to reach when he tries to call you.
If your relationship has already moved past the initial stages to where you are
comfortable with calling him when you want to, then a good way to test where
things stand is to start calling him just a little less – or even to revert back to how
things were when you first started dating – in other words, let him do all the
calling for now.
You’ll be happy to hear from him and his calls will always be welcome, but you
are giving him space at the same time, whether he is conscious of it or not. If he
has been feeling pressure that things are moving too rapidly, the pressure is now
off, yet your relationship is still intact.
This in itself may bring some balance back into your relationship. You are
practicing the principles in this book of letting him call and pursue you.

7

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

Don’t “test” any man often! You’ll rarely need to do this. The calls you are
receiving from your man – or not receiving – will always tell the tale of what’s
going on in your relationship.

When the “Test Results” are Dismal
This woman sensed a lack of interest in her guy, and decided to see if her
hunches would prove to be true:
Dear Mimi,
I am in a long-distance friendship and hoping to turn that into a romantic
relationship. We have been emailing for months now.
Then I decided to test if he will miss me when I stopped writing. I gave us
“distance” for some weeks, and during that time, he did not write me.
Four days ago, I resumed contact by sending him an e-card, but he has yet
to pick that up. So I followed up with a “hello” email. No reply from him
either.
Now I feel stuck and do not know what to do next, short of phoning him.
But I feel phoning him may be a little drastic – I have never phoned him
before, because we live in different time zones.
Should I continue to email or... is this his way of ending our friendship? I
would love to hear your views on this please. Thank you.
Love, “Melissa”

Melissa did something which will save her lots of time and ultimately
heartbreak. She tested him to see if he was pulling away. He would have
contacted her if things were good between them. Unfortunately, he didn’t – but at
least now she knows.
Melissa would not have tested him if she was sure of his feelings. Something
told her that the relationship was not as close or as established she really wanted.

8

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

But all it takes is one small test of this kind. This brings us to an important
principle:
If ever you send a guy something that he does not respond to, you should
not try a second time. Let your first attempt to contact him be your only attempt.

Why Repeated Attempts to Contact a Man are a Big Mistake
Melissa’s e-card was ignored – it was not even opened by him. When Melissa
followed the ignored e-card with an email, she only reinforced his ignoring her,
and made it that much more likely that he would ignore her from now on.
The mistake women often make after their first contact is ignored is to contact a
man again! Now he has ignored them not once, but twice. Now it’s official – it’s a
pattern on his part that is not likely to change. When women contact a man again
when he did not respond to their first attempt, they’ve nailed the final nails in the
coffin of their promising relationship.
Why is that true? Psychologists tell us that people tend to behave in ways that
are consistent with their recent behavior. When you get a person to take some
kind of action, he is extremely likely to continue acting in the same way.
Therefore, the last thing you want to do with a man who is ignoring you is to
literally give him yet another opportunity to ignore you again. You’re virtually
guaranteeing that he’ll continue to do so.
Not only that, but you’re becoming a persistent annoyance and are not “getting
the hint.”
That’s why the smartest thing you can do when a man is ignoring you is to do
nothing. No comments, no calls, no disapproval, no taking notice of the ignoring
in any way.

9

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

When you continue to try to contact a man who is ignoring you, you completely
lose your power in the relationship. You are now chasing a man who has dropped
you – and that’s a bad position that no person wants to be in.
Every time you leave a new message or send another email to a man who
has not responded to your first email, all you do is prolong the agony you
may be already feeling.
You were already waiting for him to contact you like he used to do, and that
was not happening. He knows it and you know it. But if you leave yet another
message or send another email, it’s like allowing the situation to go back to
square one. It’s as if his ignoring you all this time no longer matters, since you’ve
sent a brand new request for a response from him, instead of letting the silence
speak for you.
If you continue to contact a guy who is not responding, you’re still being
ignored, but from a fresh new point in time - your latest attempt to hear from him.
You may find yourself starting the waiting game all over again, even though you
did this to yourself, since he’s still just as gone as he was in the first place. Don’t
do this to yourself.
Take the hint quickly. Get the message. Don’t wonder if your email didn’t
arrive or his phone was malfunctioning. If by any chance that was the case, you
would soon hear from him anyway if your relationship was solid. He’s a man – let
him do the pursuing. He will get in touch with you if he is attracted to you – and if
he is ready, willing, able, and available for a relationship. He already knows you
are interested in him because you have been kind, friendly and warm when you
are with him all along.

10

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

He Didn’t Respond – What Do I Do Now?
Take heart – there is power even in this situation – the power of not calling him.
We’ll discuss what that power means and how it can work in your favor –
especially now.
Melissa’s suspicions about her love interest turned out to be correct. But the
tough part here for many women is the quandary they feel they are in at this point.
They wonder, as Melissa did, what to do next.
There is only one thing you can do here. The guy in question is sending the
unmistakable signal that he is not interested - and for women not to take this at
face value is nothing less than denial. A man’s lack of response means that he’s
moving away from you, and you should interpret any and all lack of response
from a man as meaning this. When this happens, an automatic response from you
should “kick in.” He’s not contacting you, so respond accordingly.
First, completely cease all attempts to contact him. That is the only chance
that he might start contacting you. Do not second-guess yourself. Do not make
excuses for his lack of calls. Do not contact his friends or family to ask them if
something has happened to him. Do not ask yourself if he is angry with you – if
he is, he can still let you know.
He has sent you a message by not calling. It’s your job to listen to this message
and accept if at face value. If he wants to get in touch, he will.
If and when you do hear from him, the way you handle your next
conversation with him is very important. Later in this book, we’ll discuss how
to handle that.
Next, get moving. Start meeting men and women, and start dating new people.
Push yourself to do this if you must – because it’s very important, no matter how
important this man is to you. In fact, the more important the man is, the more
important it is that you make your life as full and vibrant as it always has been.

11

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

Men Are Always Aware That They are Not Responding
Women often try to tell themselves (denial again) that their man has somehow
forgotten them, or that there is a reason he is not responding.
Men are always aware when they are not calling you. Men do not forget that a
woman in their life exists.
Your man is well aware that the longer he takes to get in touch with you, the
greater is the risk that you will no longer be available to him – unless you are
calling him as though your entire life and emotional well being depends on
whether or not he rings you up.
When you accept his lack of calls and accept the change in his behavior, you
allow him to live with his actions. You take the pressure of your reaction off him.
If he expected you to call and ask what’s wrong, he’ll soon see that this doesn’t
happen. He risks losing you. He has to think about you. When you allow this
pause in your relationship, you actually increase the chances of hearing from him
again.
It’s when you refuse to accept the obvious that you start doing things for him.
You become an enabler. You call him to ask what’s wrong. If he knows you’re
going to call him every time he stops calling you for a while, then why will he
ever need to make the effort? You’ll be like an alarm clock with a lifetime battery.
Let him start wondering about why you’re not responding to the change in his
calling patterns. Make no mistake, the change means something’s up – but he’s
far more likely to move closer to you again if you stay cool and friendly.
Now is when you experience the power of not calling: let him wonder if you
have moved on! Only by not calling him will this be possible.
Also, by not calling him, it’s no longer just he who is not calling. You’ve made
the same decision. Your reserve will cause him to question whether it really was
such a good idea to let you go. He’ll wonder if you’re now seeing someone else –
if you don’t call him now. That’s the power of not calling him.

12

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

He Probably Will Call You Again –
If You Don’t Do It For Him
If you don’t hear from him again, this was going to happen anyway, with or
without calls from you asking him what happened. This way, you save yourself
dignity, you show him that you are not waiting by the phone for him, and you
leave the door open for the future.
If and when he calls you later, then it will be your decision whether he’s worth
investing your time in.
Here’s the good news – if you do not call him when he seems to have dropped
off the planet, he probably WILL call you. Your lack of rushing in to save the
situation is what makes this happen.
He knows how to find you.

“But We Had a Disagreement the Last Time I Spoke to Him.
Maybe He Thinks I’m Mad At Him!”
The man you want is not going to disappear because he thinks you’re annoyed
with him. The ball is in his court. At the very least, give it some time. Give your
relationship some breathing room. Give him and yourself credit for being in a
vibrant relationship – a little tiff should not have you scrambling for answers or
wondering if you terminally offended him.
This does not mean that you expect a man to do all the work, or to kiss your
feet, or be the only one who shows attention and affection. It does mean that you
have treated your man wonderfully and have been fun to be around, without
pressuring him for an early commitment.
If you have been kind, fun, appreciative, and not overly serious, then you have
no reason to feel that you’ve done anything to turn him off. It may just be that this
relationship has run its course.

13

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

“I Can Come Up With a Legitimate Reason to Call Him”
When a guy is not calling, many women try to come up with a reason to get in
touch with him. You can always think of some reason to get in touch with
anyone. Resist the temptation to do this, because men see right through these
excuses. Inventing a reason to call a man only makes matters worse at the exact
time when not calling could make matters better.

“What If I Do Something Special For Him? Surprise Him,
Send Him a Gift, or Show Up At His Place Unannounced?”
When a man stops returning your emails and calls, often women feel that if they
just do something they think is sweet, affectionate, or charming, this will help get
their man’s attention again. They think it will bring back to his mind the
promising relationship that somehow has lost its footing.
Unfortunately, doing this is usually not a good idea at all. If a man stops
contacting you, it is because he his feelings for you are waning or are already
gone. If at this point you continue to contact him, then you are sending him the
clear - and true - message that you are a lot more interested than he is. This is
only going to lessen his desire for you even more.
It’s unwise to send a card, email, or even a text to a man who has been ignoring
you. It’s an obvious “Why haven’t you been calling me?” message. A card only
serves to remind him that he has no desire to contact you, and what’s worse, it lets
him know that you’re waiting and hoping for exactly that from him – proving to
him that only one of you is interested, and it’s not him.
E-cards are the worst choice of all. E-cards are even less likely to be responded
to than anything else. To respond to an e-card, one has to click on a link and bring
up a webpage. This is not always the most convenient thing to do when reading
email. It’s something that can be postponed. When you send an e-card or
something similar, your man receives an email which says something like this:
“Judy E. sent you an e-card! Get your e-card now by clicking this
link!”

14

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

This may be a less-than-thrilling event for a guy – unless he is already very
much in love with you. Only send him an e-card if he has sent you one first.
Mailed cards and letters are not much different. They show your man plainly
that you are intent on keeping his attention. They let him know that he’s probably
the only man you are interested in. They tell him that you spent a lot of time
choosing a card, writing the letter or message, addressing, stamping, sending, and
so forth. Now he knows you’re waiting for a response – a response he was already
trying to avoid. He sent you that message by not calling, and not only are you not
getting that message, you’re expecting him to write you a letter or send you a
card, or email you to say, “Gosh, thanks for the e-card!!”
Do you really think that kind of response from any man is very likely to happen
when he has already stopped contacting you?
Do you really think that an e-card, card, or letter will suddenly make him warm
and fuzzy about you again?

Put Yourself In His Place
You have no doubt had the experience of knowing a guy who is crazy about
you - a guy you don’t ever worry about returning his calls because you know that
he will definitely call you again if you are forgetful – because he is the one who is
really interested, not you.
So, when that kind of guy calls, you don’t get excited at all. More likely, you
may be a little impatient because you were in the middle of something, and here
this guy is, calling you again.
I know you don’t want to be that person in the life of the man you ARE crazy
about. And you certainly don’t want to be a pest.

15

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

“But If I Stop Contacting Him Completely, He’ll Think I’m
Not Interested!”
Worry not. If a man stops contacting you, you should not be the one to worry
about whether you stop contacting him. Don’t worry that he will go away because
of that. If he’s attracted to you, he will be calling you soon. He won’t let you get
away. Not if he’s truly ready, willing, able, and available for a relationship - and
not if he’s the kind of man you want.
Yes, sometimes women don’t call a man, and never hear from him either. They
then run into him months later and buy into his excuse that he never called them
because he didn’t think they were interested. Yeah, right! That’s just a man
saving face – and no man who’s much of a man would ever use that particular
excuse.
Don’t ever believe that a man never called you because you didn’t call him first.
All men who are truly attracted to you – and who are ready, willing, able, and
available for a relationship – will let you know.

Dear Mimi,
There’s this guy, he’s actually one of my customers, whom I’m very
interested in.
At the beginning, I felt a spark when we met. He kept calling and looked
interested in me. He kept coming to my workplace for any reason, and
calling me after working hours, but he never asked me out. The phone
calls have stopped. He calls our office only occasionally now, but still asks
about me.
This month is his birthday, and I want to show him that I care, so I want to
send him some flowers. Shall I go ahead, or will that distance him away? I
really don’t know what to do to get him. I really, really like him, and I
want to have a long-term relationship with him, ending in marriage. Please
advise.
Waiting for your reply… -- B.

16

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

You should not send flowers to any man who is not actively pursuing you. This
would come completely out of the blue, since he has never asked you out and is
speaking to you less now than he was in the beginning.
There’s no telling why he never asked you out, but chances are that there was
already someone else in his life. Therefore, the reason has nothing to do with you.
This man was not ready, willing, able, or available for a relationship at this time.
You’ll probably still run into him, and since your relationship has not even
started yet, you might still end up dating him (if and when he is available).
However, sending him flowers for his birthday out of the blue, when you and he
are not even close friends, would definitely send him a very heavy-duty message.
Think how you’d feel if he called you with a very awkward thank-you and told
you that he’s already involved with someone.
Your comment that you want to eventually marry him is very premature - you
hardly know this man yourself yet. Keep that in mind. If a man thinks you’re
already “sold” on him, he doesn’t have any reason to “win your heart.”
When you see him, be friendly but not overly eager. That leaves the door open
without putting pressure on him.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON CALLING THE MEN YOU DATE, READ
THE BOOK CALLING MEN BY MIMI TANNER

www.callingmen.com

17

What To Do If He Stops Calling – And What Not To Do
By Mimi Tanner

Some of Mimi’s Books and Programs Include:

Secrets of Flirting with Men: How To Flirt With Any Man on
the Planet
www.flirtwithmen.com

Calling Men – The Complete Guide to Calling, Emailing, and
Texting the Men You Date
www.callingmen.com

Hard To Get! The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart
www.playhardtoget.com

18

Bikini Body Workouts™ by Jason & Jen Ferruggia

The 60-Day Transformation Program

Hi!

When we combined our respective skills and specialties and started Bikini Body Secret, in
2009, we remember the profound sense of appreciation mixed with gratitude that we felt
for our first customers. We made up our mind back then that above all else, we would give
everything to uphold and honour the trust that they put in us by investing in our products
and services. It really is a sacred trust. And we’re so thankful that we understand that.
If we were to violate that trust, our business would soon shrivel up and die. To this day,
we’re proud to say that we still feel honoured each and every time that someone like you
invests in what we have to offer. You are the lifeblood of our business. Your willingness to
put your trust in us is a huge thing in our eyes. And, in the simplest possible way, we want to
convey our profound appreciation for that trust.

THANK YOU!

We are here to serve you. We will help you in every way that we can. We put everything
into our products and services. We bust our tails to deliver value to you. Because we firmly
believe in the Golden Rule. We understand that our business is built on servicing one
customer at a time – and that each customer is a person with goals and dreams that are
unique – and of paramount importance to her.

So...thank you. Thank you for believing in us and trusting in us. We won’t let you down. We
want you to have success, health and body that you desire. We want you to realize your
potential and become the person you know in your heart you can...

....and then we want you to tell everyone who will listen that we helped you do it! ☺
You can do it. You can have the body, health and lifestyle of your dreams if you are
willing to do what is necessary to achieve it. There is no “magic bullet” that will
miraculously transform your body. But there are tested and proven protocols that we
have used with countless clients that will enable you to get to where you want – faster
than you could ever imagine!

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

What you are about to take part in is truly the Ultimate 28 Day Rapid Fat Loss
System.

We will give you the ball. Will you run with it, with the understanding that life is
short and all you really have is here and now...or will you stand and look around,
finding excuses why you can’t meet the challenge?

The sad truth is that only a small percentage of people are willing to run with the
ball. Most prefer to stay in the comfort zone and never find out what they are capable
of – they never meet the challenge and run with it. And they regret it later.

Our philosophy is “NO REGRETS”. And we sincerely hope that is yours also. We
sincerely hope that you will take the ball and run with it. Because if you don’t, you
will never know what could have been. And that’s no way to live.

Make your dreams reality. Make your body the way you want it to be. Ultimately
what happens to you is COMPLETELY within your control. Don’t abdicate
responsibility for your body, your health and your life. Seize the day! And do it now!
Thank you once again for your support and trust. We want to make this the most life
changing experience possible for you, and are dedicated to getting you into the best
Bikini Body Shape of Your Life.

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

Before you Start

On the morning of your first day weigh yourself as soon as you get out of bed. Secondly,
measure your waist (through your bellybutton). Third, take a picture of yourself wearing
shorts and a sports bra (very important – it gives you a base photo from which to work with
and will serve as motivation and an accurate picture of how far you have come from day
one.) Get yourself a flip file and store these items in there – we will be reviewing them at
the end of the program.

Are you a Category 1 or a Category 2?

Category 1:
You are a Category 1 if you:

Are not used to regular exercise
Regularly skip breakfast
Regularly eat fast food
Regularly eat processed food or refined carbohydrates
Have struggled to maintain healthy eating habits with previous diets
Drink a lot of calorie containing beverages

Category 2:
You are a Category 2 if you:

Are used to regular exercise
Make healthy eating choices at least 90 % of the time
Don’t eat fast food
Don’t eat processed food or refined carbohydrates
Drink water as your main beverage

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The goal is to ultimately be a Category 2 – that is where the magic happens with body
composition, hormonal balance, health and energy.

That being said, if you are not used to eating in that fashion it will be a very hard approach
to suddenly adopt. We recommend a stepped approach, by first adopting some basic new
nutrition habits and getting used to them and getting the maximum fat loss benefits from
them and the increased exercise, and then moving onto a more detailed and “restrictive”
approach. We promise that you will lose weight on both approaches, depending which
category you fall into. And once you have become accustomed to the habits in Category 1 (3
– 4 weeks), it will be relatively easy to transition into Category 2.

What You Should Eat: Category 1

Before we start worrying about protein ratios, healthy fat etc - we need to get some habits:

Here is what I am going to suggest:

1. Eat Breakfast

2. Eliminate all refined sugar from your diet

3. Drink more zero calorie fluids (particularly water)

4. If you drink alcohol – drink 50% less

5. Reduce carbohydrates by a few bits per meal. So, if you eat a burger and chips for lunch
then don’t eat ALL the chips. If you eat them all start over on day 1.

6. Exercise 5 days per week for 30 minutes (training is already 3 days - so do something on
your other 2 days). What type? It doesn’t matter…just do something!

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

7. If you think it’s not a good food choice, then DON’T eat it. There’s more food choice
education out there then there has ever been in history. I think you know that potato chips
are not better than a salad for an appetizer, ice cream is not better than fruit, etc.

You are going to eat according to these rules for 3 weeks continuously. It is very important
that we address these basic habits, before trying to get fancy. Weight loss will still occur
rapidly, because you are adding in the appropriate exercise with the bootcamp classes, as
well as refining your food habits. If you can follow these easy guidelines you are already
doing better than almost 90 % of the population and will have a very solid foundation to
start with the next phase. If you aren’t able to follow these guidelines, it will be very hard to
follow the guidelines for phase 2. So it is very important that we build these basic habits as a
foundation and can grow from there.

What You Should Eat: Category 2

The list below is not an exhaustive list, but it makes things easy to have an idea of what you
are going to eat. Buy enough to last you for at least a week and feel free to substitute your
favourites in here. We are not going to insult your intelligence by telling you what a fruit or
a vegetable is. I encourage you to experiment with some varieties that you have never tried
before. When buying fruit and vegetables, think of the rainbow and buy a whole lot of
different types.

Proteins

Fruits

Vegetables

Fats

Wild salmon

Apples

Broccoli

Avocados

Chicken

Berries

Spinach

Butter

Grass fed beef

Pears

Rocket

Olive Oil

Fish

Stone fruits

Cauliflower

Nut Butters

Eggs

Mango

Carrots

Coconut Oil

Turkey

Pawpaw

Mushrooms

Macadamia Oil

Lamb

Kiwi Fruit

Cabbage

Various Nuts

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

You have free reign to substitute whatever varieties of the different food groups that you
desire. The above table is just a starting point. For the purposes of the 28 day rapid fat loss
diet, it is useful to have a list to work off, but feel free to experiment with whichever fruits,
vegetables and proteins you desire – and make sure not to only rely on one or two
favourites! Variety is very important. You are able to substitute a 30 g serving of protein
powder (explained later) for a protein source.

What You Should Supplement
In addition to the food list, there are a few supplements that are highly recommended.
These will really make a difference to the program.

The First is Fish Oil. Fish oil will boost your metabolism (leading to automatic fat loss –
without changing another thing), turn on your fat burning genes, improve your mood,
reduce your cravings and make your joints feel incredible. It really is a marvellous
supplement. We use a liquid fish oil, called Carlson’s. It is a great combination of flavour and
quality. When buying fish oil, it is important to get a high quality one (usually available from
a natural foods store, you will have to talk to the Naturopath on duty). Two other brands
that we recommend are Bioceuticals and Nordic Naturals. These are available in capsule
form, for those that prefer.

The second recommended supplement is a great multivitamin. Once again it is important to
get a good one, and we recommend Metagenics. With multivitamins you get what you pay
for, and most of the multivitamins that you would buy in pharmacies etc are basically going
to turn into expensive urine! Make sure that your multivitamin is a pharmaceutical grade
one – you definitely get what you pay for and will feel the difference.

The third supplement we recommend is a high quality protein powder. In Australia, Horleys
Ice is our favourite for people that can tolerate dairy, and Sun Warrior Rice Protein for those
who can’t. Both of these are very high quality and nice tasting. The reason for a high quality
protein powder is basically convenience. It is sometimes hard to get quality protein at 4
meals a day and protein powders bridge this gap beautifully. Quick, easy and convenient.

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

The last supplement we recommend is chocolate. Chocolate? Yes, it is a great source of anti
oxidants and will reduce your cravings for other sweets as well as positively impacting your
mood. Don’t just get any chocolate – it has to be 85 % cocoa, so no Cadbury’s Dairy Milk!
85% dark chocolate is available from all good health stores and usually comes in chunks.

What You Should Drink

There are only three drinks that you are to consume on this program. Water, green tea and
organic black coffee. Green tea and black coffee will speed up your metabolism (just make
sure to only consume two coffees a day) and are loaded with antioxidants. You can’t drink
enough water on this program. I hesitate to give numbers, but 3 – 4 litres would be great.
Yes – that sounds like a lot. And Yes – if you’re not used to that amount of water you will be
going to the toilet a lot more.

Build up to that amount . If you’re not used to drinking so much just keep adding a few
glasses a day until you reach it. Your cells, skin, and energy levels will thank you for it!

Make sure to drink your water out of glass or stainless steel bottles. No plastic!

Plastic leaks estrogen metabolites and Bisphenol A, which will hinder your fat loss as well as
contributing heavily to risk of cancer.

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

Putting it Together

Now you know what to eat, how much are you going to eat? We’re going to make this
as simple as possible.

The Rules:

1. You are going to eat 4 times a day – 3 meals and a snack

2. You are going to eat a piece of protein the size of your palm at each main meal (3 times a
day) or 30 g of protein powder

3. You are going to have as many vegetables as you desire at each meal and/or a serving of
fruit

4. You are going to have a serving of healthy fats with each meal

5. You will not drink any calorie containing drinks (only water, black coffee and green tea)

6. You will consume fish oil, and multivitamins at two or three of your meals.

7. You are going to break the rules at ONE meal a week - that’s a rule/order!

8. You are to eat 20 g of chocolate a day as a snack

8 Simple Rules – how easy is that?

Let’s Break them down on the next page:

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Rule Number 1:

It is important to eat regularly. Many popular diets nowadays will have you eating 6 - 8
times a day. The many small meals a day hypotheses. This hypotheses is grounded in some
scientific studies that correlated frequent eating with increased metabolism. The studies are
shaky at best, and their have been subsequent studies to disprove the hypotheses.
Honestly? Who has time to eat 6 - 8 times a day? Unless you’re a professional bodybuilder you really only need to eat 4 times a day – 3 meals and a snack. This gives you plenty of time
to digest your meals in between feedings. It also allows you to eat a more substantial meal
at each feeding and not feeling like you are always hungry and always eating minuscule
portions.

Rule Number 2:

Lean protein is a cornerstone of the program - it is important that you get adequate protein
throughout the day. This will insure that you feel full, as well as contribute to fat loss by
raising your BMR (basal metabolic rate - in short - how many calories you are burning every
second). It is vital that you get protein during your first meal of the day. By eating a protein
and fat rich breakfast, you are setting your neurotransmitters up perfectly for the
subsequent day. By just implementing this simple trick, and eliminating the vegemite toast
and orange juice you will feel fuller throughout the day and won’t experience the mid
afternoon energy crash! Protein keeps you fuller for longer and is very important for optimal
health.

Rule Number 3:

You are to eat as many vegetables as you desire. Vegetables are thermogenic (meaning they
burn fat) as well as fibrous - which keeps you full for longer. It is important to get a varied
supply of nutrients and phytonutrients, and vegetables and fruits definitely fit the bill here!
Vegetables also have a negligible effect on blood sugar and on the whole do not have a lot
of calories - so you are safe to eat them in substantial quantities. Fruit is also really healthy.

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

You cannot eat it in unlimited quantities though, as it is more calorie dense - try and limit it
to 2 servings of fruit a day. A serving of fruit or vegetables is equal to a cup size.
Rule Number 4:

You are to eat a serving of healthy fats at each meal. On a program like this, where refined,
unhealthy carbohydrates are limited - it is important to eat healthy fats as an energy source.
Healthy fats are monounsaturated fats (like olive oil and avocado) and polyunsaturated fats
(like fish oil and certain nuts). You don’t want to go overboard on fats, generally a serving
size is equal to a tablespoon of oil, a small handful of nuts or half an avocado. By
incorporating more healthy fats into your diet you will experience better skin, nails,
increased fat loss and an increased feeling of satiety and satisfaction between meals.

Rule Number 5:

As mentioned before, you are limited to non-calorie containing beverages (NO - diet
Coke doesn’t count!). Black or Green Tea, Black Coffee or Water. By drinking things like
juices, cola, milk etc you are really contributing to your overall calorie count with needless
“empty calories”, not to mention ingesting lots of chemicals and sugar which are terribly
unhealthy.

Rule Number 6:

Try and spread your fish oil and multivitamins out over at least 2 meals (the more the
better).

With fish oil:

Depending on which brand of fish oil you take you are going to be having 3 g (not 3
capsules) of the active EPA/DHA (check the back) spread out over a couple of meals. This
may seem like a lot - but bear in mind that the therapeutic dosage of fish oil is between 3 - 6
g of Active EPA /DHA (10 - 20 capsules of an average brand), so it is the low end of that. 1 or
2 capsules a day is not going to cut it! Make sure that you check the back of the bottle to see

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

how many capsules you will need to take to get your 3 g of EPA/DHA, as various
manufacturers will have differing amounts. Generally the higher the quality the less you
will need to take to get your recommended dose.

Rule Number 7:

Break the rules at least once a week. As a professional fitness coach, I have found that it
takes a superhuman effort of will to stick to a rigid eating plan 100 % of the time. If you
know that you are going to be able to eat your favourite treat on a Saturday night, it makes
it a lot easier to be good on a Thursday afternoon when your boss is stressing you out and
you are craving a Mars Bar. So, once a week allow yourself a treat meal of whatever you feel
like. I find that it is always best to plan this - that way you are in control and can decide
exactly what you want, rather than giving in to a craving. So, on Saturday night eat your
favourite pizza and some ice cream, or go out to your favourite restaurant and order your
favourite. You will enjoy it all the more because it is a treat and a reward for your previous
lean eating and your body and mind will thank you for it.

Rule Number 8:

That can’t be right - is that a mistake? What kind of fitness professional recommends
chocolate? The clever ones...! Dark chocolate (85 % or more) is a very powerful Superfood
that will raise your serotonin and dopamine levels. When these are low, you feel
unmotivated, depressed and you crave carbohydrates and sweets. By raising them up you
will feel awesome, and as though you are not on a diet.

So, as your mid afternoon snack, I urge you to give a piece of dark chocolate a try, along
with a small handful (about 10 - 12) of nuts. 20 g of dark chocolate is recommended - no
more. There will be no more mid afternoon snack attacks, energy crashes and raised
tempers when you implement this strategy! Make sure to eat it slowly and consciously,
savour each little piece. Chocolate is a healthy, nutritious Superfood that will improve your
mood and contribute positively to your fat loss efforts. And besides - it’s chocolate - what
more needs to be said?!

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

A Typical Day Of Eating In This Style

Breakfast
Supershake (30 g protein powder, berries, small handful of nuts, half a banana, small
handful spinach)
Multivitamins and fish oil

Lunch
Huge green salad (with spinach, carrots, tomatoes, onion, broccoli florets), chicken
tenderloins and drizzled with macadamia oil

Mid Afternoon
20 g dark chocolate and small handful cashews

Dinner
Beef Steak with veggies and a side salad. Berries for dessert
Multivitamins and fish oil

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

Final Thoughts:

There you go - easy hey? This lean eating thing does not have to be complicated. No
counting calories. If you need to count calories you are eating the wrong things - your body
will naturally eat the right amounts of the right foods. If you eat like this you can expect a
better mood, a better body and increased levels of energy and stamina. Your joints, skin,
hair and nails will be better and you will feel amazing!

We are trying to create habits that will take you through the rest of your life.

Because what is the point in going on some celebrity whizz bang incredible diet where you
have to count calories and eat certain foods in perfect combinations and are never allowed
to have your favourite foods - sounds terrible to me. And when all your friends are going on
these diets and raving about their magic results and then showing up two months later
fatter and more confused - show them how you are eating - easily, nutritiously and
pleasurably. It’s the only way to do things!

www.bikinibodyworkouts.com

Complete Program


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